Christmas is upon us and I’m sitting on the floor waiting for snow. GIVE ME SNOW! That’s actually all I want for Christmas. But with Christmas time, feelings and memories flare up and with those I can’t help but stop remembering my Grandmother Betty and […]
Hello, what a nice break I’ve had, bet ya missed me.
You guys may have noticed that lately I’ve been baking a lot, early last month I might have let you in on my secret. Which is baking keeps me sane. Very sane. And while life has been nothing less than shit, I feel very sane. But I’ve also been spoiling myself with juice and great green smoothies. Nothing like mixing fruits and greens to keep me a happy lamb.
So today I baked again, after deciding on my future and winning an inner battle with myself. I felt like baking was suitable. Because for a long time, I’ve felt that I needed permission from other people to be myself, and it wasn’t until today I found out that the permission I was looking for, was more acceptance of other people. A sad, sad existence I have had until now.
So today I took inspiration from Maja Vase, you can find the cake here
Dines loves banana cake and I love baking. But I adjusted the recipe to fit us a bit better. Removing the milk chocolate from the cake and adding white chocolate instead, also removing the nuts and adding homemade salted caramel on top. The salted caramel actually gave a nice taste to the cake and according to Dines; “A regret if you hadn’t tried it”
Hi guys, long time and no post. Well last week we returned from 16 days in Spain, and boy did I need a week to relax. Getting back into the normal routine can be kind of hard. I also started school again, or well I do the 22nd of August but it didn’t mean I couldn’t do the introduction assignment. Now I just have to do two normal assignments this week and on to a relaxing weekend. So back to Spain, it was lovely and warm. The food was amazing and it was just lovely getting away from everything. The last week we were there, my husbands parents joined us, which is always nice.
This vacation also marked our first date night, Cas got babysat by his Farmor and Farfar while Dines and I went out to eat. We have been to a wedding before without him, but this was just us. It was nice, remembering all the good things about each other. When you are parents, we can sometimes forget to maintain our relationship and I felt that date night was a nice way to help us remember that we are also a couple and our whole world shouldn’t just be about Cas. I know it sounds selfish and I might get mum shamed, but when Can grows up and moves out. It will only be Dines and I, if we haven’t maintained a relationship, we will just be two people living together who has a child.
Cas loved Spain, before we left he started walking. But in Spain it took a wild turn, he followed everyone. He loved the beach most of all, it ended up being a struggle to get him home from the beach because he enjoyed the water and playing in the sand with Dines. Dines also enjoyed playing in the sand with Cas and play in the water with him. I’m scared of the ocean so I didn’t join that part, but I got to play in the pool with him. We played shark, he didn’t get it and I think he thinks I’m weird.
I loved the vacation, while we had a good grip on my PPD, there was one night that wasn’t good. I couldn’t get Cas to sleep and he started hitting me and scratching me. I ended up breaking down and really didn’t want to stay on vacation because for me that felt like defeat. So while the ugly cry was going on, Dines stepped up and took over. I felt like he shouldn’t and it was my responsibility to look after our son alone the whole vacation, and now I feel like an idiot for thinking that. Dines and I talked it over and that also helped mend our relationship. But all is better now, we are still taking it one day at a time. On sunday it’s our FIRST anniversary and I can’t wait! But I will post more on that later.
For now my loves.
Today, I decided to write about something close to heart. Something I rarely share with people, only people close to me know, which is I suffer from Post-Partum Depression. People who don’t have children or never had to deal with PPD try to understand. But […]