- Quote from Bobby of Supernatural.
I remember when I started my lifelong journey as a mother, a journey, many women have been on before me, and a journey many will be on after me. I remember the anxiety that arose in me when I started getting contractions and how I was all alone. I remember the fear I admittedly had, letting another sensitive human into this world, a world so dark but I remember the fierce light that I also found. I’m never honest about the journey motherhood has taken me on, I play it down to “Everything is great and perfect. I never feel alone or that I genuinely need a village some days to keep me alive.” But I do, but it wasn’t until yesterday I saw how alone I was. People have always told me ” You brought the child into the world, don’t expect people to help you.” That’s very wrong, you can’t raise a child alone, it needs its parents and its bloody okay to ask for help. Don’t be like me. You aren’t proving anything by doing this alone.
Yesterday I had a friend over, someone who has become an inspiration in looking at parenting and helping me confirm that my motherly intuition is valid. Society today focuses on money, saying women who go back to work will have a much better life with their child. Because money means you can buy toys and clothes. Sure enough, money is important, makes sure you have a roof over your head and puts food on the table. But money isn’t everything and it won’t ever be. We ended up discussing education and how we have been fed lies about as long as you have the right education, you will earn a lot of money and success is everything. I have heard parents say that their child will only get their drivers license paid if they dont EVER smoke a cigarette or that they’ll get their trust fund as long as they take an education, that is approved BY their parents. Thats also known as conditional love, where you, a parent, have pretty told your kid, “you do what I say, and I don’t feel ashamed or let down by you.”
Being a parent means you have to let that child you or your wife, pushed out of her vajayjay or c-section, let them find their own way by not being bloody dicks. My love for Cas is defiantly unconditional. I don’t care what he does, or if he smokes or decides he wants to start a rock band and never get an education. Thats HIS choice. But I will also know how people will make him feel, laughable and not important. Because that is where I am, you know I see you fam. Cas has just got to be him, no one else. He should find his own and live HIS life. You should just mind your own fucking business and raise your own kid not to become a serial killer.
Until next time