Not a perfect human

My Love-Hate Relationship with Christmas.

My Love-Hate Relationship with Christmas.

Christmas is upon us and I’m sitting on the floor waiting for snow. GIVE ME SNOW! That’s actually all I want for Christmas. But with Christmas time, feelings and memories flare up and with those I can’t help but stop remembering my Grandmother Betty and my Grandmother Trille, two women that did everything to make their grandchildren feel special. And boy did they make Christmas fun.

I have so many amazing memories of our Christmas’s and the food. I’m all about the food at Christmas, I could care less about gifts. I just want to eat and look at snow. But since 2004, I stopped really enjoying Christmas and started becoming a Grinch*. In 2004, Grandma Betty and Pa (only one pa!!!!) invited to celebrate Christmas in Australia! First time in Australia since I was a few months from my third birthday. Here’s a bit of back story, since we moved to Denmark, my Grandmother Betty would come for Christmas here, traveling the way from Australia, just to spend time with us. That is some memories that I won’t ever forget. Thank you, ma, for everything.

Sadly while in Australia Grandmother Trille passed away, the 28th of December. Which I felt the year after when spending Christmas with my Bedstefar, had left a huge hole in everyone. Each child of theirs and each grandchild. Christmas’s with Grandmother Trille and Bedstefar were as great as with Grandmother Betty and Pa, Trille would make her cookies and troldeguf, (can’t wait to make that for Cas, it’s actually the best stuff ever!). We all tried to recreate the cookies and would make the troldeguf, but it was hard. But that’s when I realized that Christmas for me was my Grandmothers. But lucky I still had Grandmother Betty, but in 2006 she passed away two weeks after my 14th birthday, which ended my happy Christmas memories.

The year after Pa invited to Australia again for Christmas and of course we went. My uncle was honestly amazing, while we missed her, he really did everything in his power to make that a good Christmas. And he did! I still remember it and laugh every time I think about the day, it was a great day.

But after that I stopped enjoying Christmas, stopped being a thing I looked forward to because I actually zoned out of life and decided to live like a zombie. Yes, it’s called a depression and not handled grief of losing loved ones.

So, last year, being Cas’s first Christmas and all, I was super excited! Oh man!!! We went out and bought him a Santa hat and I was ready. For once I was going to have that Christmas that I felt like I missed since 2007. Aaaaand tragedy struck, my Pa died the 23rd of December, but being Karina, I pushed those feelings and grief all the way down because nothing was going to take Cas’s first Christmas from us. Now we’re heading into his second Christmas and a year later, I’ve started looking forward. My in-laws have adopted some of the English traditions into Christmas this year which made my heart burst because I didn’t expect it. It made me so happy, so I might have ordered 12-pack of Terry’s Chocolate Orange. Ups? 😉

 

But while I could sit and write about my feelings. I won’t cause there is no use to talking about the past, when the future isn’t that far away. I know 2018 will be great.

 

Until next time friends

 

Karina xoxo

 


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