Not a perfect human

The Perfect Parent

The Perfect Parent

Lately I’ve noticed how a lot of mothers and even fathers have been trying to come off as the perfect parent. Hell, I might even have come across as one, but funny enough. I’m so far from perfect, so if perfect smacked me in the face I’d shrug and continue to eat my food. In a world where we actually have something called “Mum-shaming” a lot of women with children find it hard to become their own, because when they do, they tend to get attacked.  Some mothers and fathers  even think it’s okay to shame those who do things differently, which, in my book, seems messed up. Mostly because each child is their own and therefore you can’t expect the same thing to work with each child. Looking back, I’ve been mum-shamed by a few without children and here is what I say to them; Fuck off, congrats on reading a parenting book, but not to shatter your dreams, your baby will most and highly likely not follow the book.

It’s hard enough being a mother or father. I wonder how single parents do it. To me, they seem like super heroes and they deserve a reward for being amazing. Cause being a parent is probably the hardest job in the world. I definitely find it the hardest task I’ve ever done but it is also the most rewarding task I will ever experience. So why the shaming? I get it, in the “perfect” world every child would be the same. The same songs would sooth every baby and every child would walk and talk at the same time. But guys, we live in the real world where each child is unique and they aren’t ready yet. Have I been one of those mothers who felt like they failed cause some kid was walking before Castiel? Of course! My god, I cried to my husband and asked why I was a bad parent because I must have done something wrong. Well I also have PPD so that might have triggered a bit but hey, you live and you learn. But in all fairness, I’ve witnessed so much mummy shaming, from their child eating a banana to a child having a cookie. Who the hell cares? I don’t care but I still feel it’s necessary to talk about because I am a mother and I get annoyed when people try to lecture me on Castiel. Listen, Castiel isn’t perfect. I mean, when I watch him alone cause my husband has work. I’m not even allowed to cook, yesterday he only wanted mashed potatoes. But he is also teething so it kind of sucks to eat right now.

Unless you’re an abusive shit towards your kid or neglectful, I believe there is no wrong way to raise children. There are just different techniques. I’m alright with that. I sing AC/DC to my son or I put on punk to make him dance. I don’t listen to kid music because he hears it enough in daycare. I believe in treating Castiel as an equal. That also means I ask him questions, I know he can’t answer but I want him to develop his own opinion. Will I regret it when the terrible twos kick in? Probably, most likely YES, but I don’t believe Castiel is my property. I believe he is his own human, with a soul, and learns in his own speed. I don’t rush him because it causes confusion and annoyance towards him and me, which I also believe causes broken trust. My husband and I are very open about how we raise Castiel because people will witness it either way. I don’t need backseat parenting and, honestly, when people do backseat parent, they tend to go on a time out where I won’t speak to them until I’ve cooled down because they annoyed me. If I want your opinion or advice I would ask, and the only person I ask for advice is my sister in law, because she has never decided to come with unwanted advice.

Friends, it’s hard enough to be a parent and it doesn’t get easier when you are told you are shit at it. I’ve seen the comments on social media. I can read, amazing, right? But when mum-shaming happens, you go in and fuck with a person’s self-esteem. Why would you do that? Is it maybe because you hate yourself, just maybe? So, EVERYBODY should hate themselves? I really want to know why mum-shaming has become a thing, because maybe then I could have a better understanding why opinionated shitheads feel they have a right to judge a person, from a picture on Instagram to a status on Facebook. Also, if someone wants to breastfeed until their child is one and a half, why should it concern you? Jealousy? Or is it because you are one of those people that think breastfeeding is gross and is the main cause for rubella? I’m wondering.

If you are one that feel like answering my questions, you are welcome too. I would love to learn and for now, bye.

Karina xoxo


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