Not a perfect human

When is the right time for a second baby?

When is the right time for a second baby?

Hello, hello, missed me? Yeah well life happened and had to deal with some stuff.

I have been asked when I feel like having baby number dos, and while Dines and I have discussed it and he has had some good points as to why number two isn’t on the cards for at least a few years. Two years, maybe three, depending on where I am in my life and if we even want a second child. Society has put children in females’ heads, that having more than one benefits the first child more, but I haven’t seen any evidence for that or heard any great arguments where I have thought to myself “Wow, what an amazing point this random person who doesn’t know me has. Well thank you random person for making this life changing decision for husband and me”, while I could continue my sarcastic nature, I won’t. Some people are just a lot more content with the first and therefore don’t want anymore. While I believe that the timing for children is never right, because you can’t plan children and plan how they turn out. You should find out where you want to be when you decide on the second one. Don’t plan your life away. That’s boring and it makes you boring.

To be honest, I love Dines and I love Cas. We have made an amazing human together, out of love and while we are teaching our son to be his own independent person, we become parents at a rather young age, not that there’s anything wrong with that. But we both had things we wanted to experience and do before we had children. So now, I’ve decided that if WE, and only WE, no outsiders’ opinions or comments, decide to bring another amazing child into this world, I will have done all the things on my list.

 

Disclaimer: I didn’t make this list after Cas was born, I made this list before I even got pregnant. I might have added Dines and Cas into the equation and removed things that are not possible anymore, not because of them but because I have grown as a human and therefore have no interest in that anymore.

I admit I miss it, but I’m just not there yet.

 


Karinas’ list of adventures before second baby arrives

  1. Learn four new languages.

Why four? Because I don’t feel like two is enough and three is an uneven number, I don’t like uneven numbers.

 

  1. Go to Comic Con in SD.

Okay, I admit I really want to go to Comic Con, it’s been a dream of mine since I found out what Comic Con was at an age of 16. Yes, I am a bit slow to the party.

 

  1. Graduate from HF and KEA.

It’s a given that I want an education.

 

  1. Travel with Cas and Dines

I really want to go to India, Australia, Ireland, Scotland and America with these two special people. I really want to witness the world with them and experience things with them.

 

  1. Get my driver’s license.

Okay, that is more Dines dream for me. I see his point, I should get it.

 

  1. Grow as a human

“Well that’s a weird one!” – but is it really? Life is all about figuring out who you are and since Cas has been born, I’ve grown a lot, currently I am focusing a lot on Black Lives Matter and making sure that Cas doesn’t grow up to be a racist, because that means we have failed as parents.

 

  1. Overcoming my fears

Hahahahaha, Clowns, fuck clowns. I fear clowns, Pennywise is the reason why. Cause when I was around 7, I caught it on TV which then promoted a deep fear that clowns will eat me and kill me. Oh and another fear is never becoming anything and Dines and Cas leaves me because I’m shit. Hi insecurities! <3

 

  1. Getting more active in things that I’m passionate about

It’s a given, but first let me get over my insecurities.

 

  1. Helping Cas grow into a secure human.

While that is my job for the rest of my life, it won’t stop when he turns 18. Before I can give him the gift of a sibling, I want to make sure that he knows that even though mummy and daddy are having another baby, it doesn’t mean we love him less. But we love him so much that we want to give him a gift of life.

 

  1. Go to Burning Man!

I feel that I should remove it from my list, but I really want to go. It is a dream of mine.

 

  1. Getting my business up and running.

Hopefully the next 12 months I will be able to show and open a bit more into this. But for now, I will keep it my little secret and work hard at accomplishing it.

 

  1. Improve my mental health.
    See, I’m very insecure, I believe everybody dislikes me and that I’m a waste of peoples time. Though I have been told, time and time again that I’m not and I should quit my shit and grow up. Which is true, but I’m trying and I will continue to try until I can post pictures of myself and not of oatmeal <3 on Instagram. But admit it, you miss it 😉

Soon before birth, looking fine!

So that is my list. It’s not special or life changing in any way. But it’s for me. And what promoted me into blogging about that today? Why, it just seems right. The last few weeks of not blogging or being that active on social media, which meant I needed a break and found out: breaks suck and I gotta suck shit up. No one likes a whiner. But while having another child could be a lovely gift. I want to wait until I’m ready and Dines is ready. No doubt that we both would love to give Cas a sibling in the future, but for now. I’ll prefer it to stay us three.

Until next time loves.

 

Karina xoxo



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